My Interview with Lina
by Humor Queen Merc
Summary: A cute little interview with Lina, the first installment here on FF.net for the My Interview (Slayers) series. Pure humor, craziness, and all around chaos!


Authors notes - I hope you guys enjoy this! And check out my Slayers site if you get the   
chance. www.geocities.com/ameriagreywards!   
  
Disclaimer - I don't own Slayers, which is a good thing, although I don't think so. ^^   
  
  
My Interview With Lina  
  
Me: Hello everyone! Welcome to the Slayers edition of the My Interviews series! I'm here   
today with a very special guest; may I introduce to you the young, lovely, highly talented,   
sorceress, Lina Inverse!  
  
Lina: HI EVERYBODY!!!  
  
Me: Well Lina, you seem to be in a very good mood today!  
  
Lina: Well, I must admit, I wasn't looking forward to this at all until I found out that   
there was a banquet afterwards.  
  
Me: Well I'm glad that you could make it. So, Lina, we already know your name, so let's   
see... How old are you?  
  
Lina: (Starts to sing) I am 16, going on 17...  
  
Me: (Sweat-dropping) OK...moving on...what's your family like?  
  
Lina: Well, I have a mom, a dad, and...and...a sister.   
  
Me: A sister?  
  
Lina: I'd rather not talk about it.  
  
Me: Oh come on! Is she older or younger? What kind of a relationship do you have with her?  
  
Lina: I SAID I'D RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT IT!!! Hmph!  
  
Me: Whoa, ok, sorry I asked. Moving on then, who's your best friend?  
  
Lina: Oh that's easy, FOOD!!!  
  
Me: Er, I meant best human friend.  
  
Lina: Good question, I don't really have one. I guess you could sort of say that I have 3   
best friends though. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadiss, although sometimes I wonder about him.   
  
Me: Well that's neat! So let's see, have you got a boyfriend?  
  
Lina: *Blushing* NO!!! OF COURSE NOT!!! NOT THE MOST POWERFUL SORCERESS IN THE WORLD!!!   
  
*Suddenly, out of nowhere, Amelia comes bashing through the wall.*  
  
Amelia: Don't say that Ms. Lina! You're totally in love with Mr. Gourry!   
  
Me: Whose Gourry?  
  
Lina: (Shocked) AMELIA!!! SHUT UP!!! I DO NOT!!!  
  
Amelia: Yes you do!  
  
Lina: Do not!  
  
Amelia: Do too!  
  
Lina: Do not!  
  
Amelia: Do too! How can you deny this to yourself Ms. Lina? It does your heart injustice,   
and we all know how evil injustice is. (Suddenly gets very revved up) INJUSTICE MUST BE   
SQUASHED BY THE FIST OF JUSTICE!!!   
  
Lina: (Making a weird face) Oh L-sama no...  
  
Me: What's going on?  
  
Lina: She's gotten into her justice speech mode. Now the only thing that can stop her is a   
hoard of stampeding rhinos.   
  
Me: Uh-oh...  
  
Amelia: (Carrying on) ...And we all know you LOVE Mr. Gourry with all of your heart, and plus  
both of you were made for each other because your hearts are both pure and just, like they   
should be! All evil will be shocked by the lightning rod of justice, pounded by the   
stampeding elephant group of justice, sat upon by the sumo-wrestler of justice, slammed into  
the ground by the shoe of justice, flattened by the steam-roller of justice, annoyed by the   
telephone solicitors of justice...  
  
Me: MAKE HER STOP!!!  
  
Lina: Ok Amelia, enough.   
  
Amelia: ...Eaten by the Tyrannosaurus Rex of justice...  
  
Lina: FIREBALL!!!   
  
*Lina launches a fireball at Amelia, blowing her out of the room.*  
  
Lina: Ugh, sometimes that girl makes me wonder...  
  
Me: Interesting friend you have there Lina. S-s-so, moving along, what's your favorite food,  
seeing as how you love it so much?  
  
Lina: Oooooooo! EVERYTHING!!! There's nothing that won't make me happy! Well, except whale   
and ort meet, but other than that, ALL food! (Gets starry-eyed and starts to drool)   
especially Dragon Cuisine, which (gets mad) I NEVER GOT TO HAVE!!! ARGH!!!   
  
Me: Uh-oh...so, Lina, what are you currently doing? Are you going to school, working, what?  
  
Lina: Er, I guess you could say I'm working. Mainly I'm a sorceress, the most powerful one   
in the world I might add. Ya know, getting rid of bandit gangs, saving the world, and   
slaying dragons doesn't always come cheap. Speaking of cheap, this interview is cheap. I   
should be getting paid more for this!  
  
Me: We'll work that out later. So, anything else that you'd like to add?  
  
Lina: Yeah, don't eat cursed octopus meat.  
  
Me: Oooooookkkkkkk, we'll keep that in mind for next time then. Lina, thank you so much for   
coming onto the show. The directors will lead you to the buffet in a couple of minutes.  
  
Lina: Screw them, I'm gone now! *Starts running towards the door, completely plowing over   
the interviewer in the process.*  
  
Me: ...Ow...*twiches weirdly*...medic...  
  
The End  
  
So, like it, hate it, love it, indifferent? Tell me! E-mail me (it's in my profile), review,  
or IM me at (MSN) Merc1650@hotmail.com or (AOL) Quatre16. Just a warning, I'm always on MSN,  
and almost never on AOL. 


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